mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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