oh god the rape fog is back!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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