oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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