Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
