I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
