i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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