i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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