I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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