omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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