you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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