I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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