btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
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Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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