So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
