yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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