They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
