Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
