The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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