If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
