So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize