Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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