Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
