So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
