Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
