he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I need a beard to bite.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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