This girl is more easily done than said...
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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