Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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