member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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