I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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