Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
