just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize