Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
