never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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