It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
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he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
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It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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