I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
