Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
