im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
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