I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We have started to decorate penises.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize