Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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