Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
