I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
