super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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