I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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