Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
There's even glitter on my cock...
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