I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
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