nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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