he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Randomize
