we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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