:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
