I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"