We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...