i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
