i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."