I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
