Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
