If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
