Me. At least after what I've been through.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
