i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize