My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
