i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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