How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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