so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I faked an abortion last night.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
