I like my sex mixed with concussions.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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