Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
