I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
