Your tits are I can't wait for
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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