Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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