Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
