you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize