For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
