I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
